Happiness is undoubtedly at the top of your list of qualities you want to instill in your children; simply follow our advice which includes 7 Do’s and Don’ts of Raising a Happy Child.
1. Allow your child to take the lead
Every day, spend “child-centered time” with your child. This entails removing all sources of distraction. Get down on the floor, offer your entire “face-to-face” attention to your child, and let him or her lead the way during playtime. ” Do what the youngster wants, not what you think he or she should do. Although this isn’t a novel notion, it may be exceedingly challenging for many parents. Begin by setting aside five minutes each day for fun. “What occurs invariably,” she explains, “is that parents want to do it more.” If you have numerous children, spend time with each one separately; only mix their playtime if they desire it.
2. Don’t shield your children from failure
Allowing your child to make her own errors and learn from them is one of the most difficult things you can do as a parent. To assist children in anticipating difficult circumstances and learning to accept life’s truths, such as conflict, struggle, and consequences
Allow your daughter to manage herself in the cafeteria one day if she consistently forgets to bring her lunch to school. Allow her to try to iron out her differences with a teacher or a classmate first.” Children must contend with the truth that the world is filled with defective individuals.
Avoid being a “helicopter” parent who hovers constantly or a “snow-plough” parent who swoops in to save a child before something horrible happens. Instead, take a balanced approach to parenting.” The goal is to stay just far enough away so that the kid develops her own autonomy, yet close enough so that the parents can step in and pick her up if she gets lost.
3. Do give (selective) kudos
On a math test, your child receives a perfect score of 95. You react with (A) You’re really intelligent! (A) I’m really proud of you, or (B) I’m delighted you worked so hard in class. Keep doing what you’re doing! Experts believe that option B is the ideal answer for your child’s self-esteem and happiness, because it’s preferable to reward action than than a result.
Praise for natural characteristics like intellect can make children feel self-conscious, which can lead to undesired complexes. The worst-case situation is when a youngster becomes a perfectionist, becomes insecure, and believes that if he doesn’t receive straight A’s, he is disappointing you.
Parents nowadays are prone to overpraise, so break the trend by applauding specific behaviours and efforts. Some physicians say it’s easier to applaud the final result, such as a good test score, but she advises you to reward “particular effort since that’s in a child’s control.”
4. Don’t compare and criticise
Bringing unwanted conduct to light may often backfire. “When you want an activity repeated, give a reaction,” Dr. Hari advises. “Ignore anything that you don’t wish to keep doing. For some children, a negative reaction is preferable than no reaction.” To put it another way, say something pleasant when your daughter puts her toys away, but hold your breath if she refuses to share them with her younger brother.
Avoiding criticism increases a child’s self-esteem and motivation. If your child’s poor conduct persists, make every effort to ignore it. If it continues, be patient and calmly explain why his conduct is unacceptable, as well as remind him of how he should behave.
If you have numerous children, don’t make comparisons between them. Focus on individual strengths because each child is unique. Tell your son how much you appreciate his efforts to be neat if he makes his bed every day but your daughter never does. Don’t chastise your daughter or question why she can’t follow directions or keep her room as tidy as her brother. Praise your daughter if she begins to make her bed on a regular basis (even if it’s only every other day). Set appropriate expectations based on their personality. ” It’s critical that each youngster recognises his or her individual worth to you.
5. Do Show Your Appreciation
Dr.emily believes, “Gratitude and happiness are inextricably intertwined.” So, practice thankfulness with your child on a regular basis, but don’t limit your thanks lists to toys and tablets. To widen their viewpoint, teach your children to be grateful for non-material things like sleeping in a warm bed or attending an art lesson. If your child can’t make a list, it doesn’t necessarily indicate he isn’t thankful; he may just need more practice. “Kids aren’t trained to be appreciative, but parents feel irritated when their children behave entitled,” she says.
If your child isn’t responding, consider a stealth approach: ask him to mention three pleasant things that happened that day during dinnertime or before bed.
6. Don’t try to hide the negative aspects of your life
Positive tales are effective, but negative stories are just as effective, if not more so, since they demonstrate tenacity. Negative examples reinforce the concept that families can remain together and prevail in good and bad circumstances. “No matter how healthy or affluent you are, you will face misfortune at some point in your life.”
“Kids must learn how to handle it.” Assist your child in realising that she is a member of something bigger than herself, such as her family. Tell stories about your family, whether it’s about yourself, your spouse, or your extended family. It is not necessary to appear formal when narrating a story. At supper or during family events, try engaging with your children. The depth and breadth of a person’s social interactions have a significant impact on her happiness.
7. Make your own friendships a priority
Friendships are important for happy kids, so encourage your child to make new ones. You may begin by paying attention to your own pals. Drop the guilt if you’re worried about being greedy with your own time. Maintaining friendships helps teach the value of social interactions, thus spending time with your friends provides a positive example for your children. “When we’re pleased, we’re far better parents.”
Plan trips with your girlfriends, whether it’s for coffee or a manicure. If getting away for some adult time is difficult, invite a friend to join you with your youngster at the park or museum. If your friends have children, you may alternate holding playdates at your house or at a playground or zoo. Encourage your child to establish friends as well, and set up playdates so he may have some unstructured time.
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